Day 20 - Social Club

This Saturday (as with most) has been busy busy busy. I have given much thought to what my intention would be throughout the day. The summers here will offer so many things I can get out and take part in. During the winter though, it’s a bit slower pace around this town. So today, I went online and was looking at local happenings on and around the island to do in the winter. I stumbled on an advertisement of a local RI lady that formed a social group with women near my town.

In the spirit of true emersion into this journey/endeavor of mine, for today’s intention I joined this group. I filled out the application and am just awaiting approval.  I have already made some friends in the area so this would not be what I’d normally do. However, in this group these lovely ladies explore New England and go on many outings and volunteer in and around our area as well. They hike, bike, paddleboard and boat their way around the island. They also ski and snowshoe at many local winter hot spots which will be great for this time of year. There is a huge variety of listed activities for every time of year in fact.

This will be a great way to get involved in my new community. This will be an awesome way to expand my variety of intentions throughout the upcoming year. I am looking forward to meeting more people in my area and trying new things. With the spirit of my beloved cousin, I welcome this opportunity to embrace many more adventures in my near future.

 

Day 19 - Letters

As I mentioned before, when I first moved away from Heather we were still kids. We were so devastated to have to be separated at all but it made it worse that it was so far away. When we left, I wasn’t sure when I would ever see her again. We promised to write each other and that we surely did. It would have been so awesome if we could have had the luxuries of today’s technology with the free long distance calls, camera phones and video chat (not to say we didn't talk on the phone but not as often as we would have liked to, due to the minute charges). But in a certain sense, it warms my heart to look at my stack of letters- to be able to touch them and see and feel the age they are starting to have. It’s nostalgic I suppose.

I think back to when my mom would announce that I had a letter in the mail, how exciting that was and I’m sure it’s safe to say Heather felt that same way. To take the time to sit down and chronicle what was happening in my life and her doing the same was such a compliment (though I feel the impact of that hits me harder as an adult). I had other friends that I wrote for a few years after we left but as I became a teenager they all dwindled away, some quicker than others. But not my letters to and from Heather. They never stopped. Even through adulthood- even after we had phones with a camera- even after we had the ability to text, we still sent letters. Obviously it was far less often than our texting and calling but letter writing was our thing since we were children.

It is with that in mind that I decided on what to do for today’s intention. I sat down and wrote a letter. It’s signed, sealed and stamped and tomorrow it will be in the box and on its way.

I choose to write a letter to my dad. Although we talk on the phone sometimes, I think a letter of appreciation for his years of service as a father is probably long overdue and would be of great surprise. Not because it’s Father’s Day. Not because it’s his birthday. Just because….

Because Heather and I wrote letters for so many years and in her honor I’m passing that on. Maybe he will write me back. Maybe he won’t. He may just call me when he receives it which would be perfectly fine. Either way, I believe that when he sits down and reads my letter he will be filled with happiness- the same way I was when I would read my letters from Heather.

 

Day 18 - New Food

One way I’m going to try to keep this blog interesting is by opening up my world to new things. To live with intention by sometimes venturing out and experiencing different things life has to offer even if it is something that I normally wouldn’t necessarily consider. To continually live every single day to the fullest in memory of Heather.

Let me say, I have always been super adventurous and the first one front and center when it comes to trying something new but there are many things in life that are still obviously unexplored by me. No ONE person can literally experience everything life has to offer but I sure have had a blast doing as much as I can and God willing I will have many more years to do much, much more! During this year I am going to enjoy sharing my new experiences on this blog (big or small).

A friend of mine from years ago from Phoenix recently moved here to Newport. Life is so awesome and random sometimes because when I was in NC she was in SC and now she lives only blocks away from me here! When she first got here, she and her husband went to a Thai restaurant right down the street from us  both and she said it was delish. I remember as she told me about that I mentioned to her that I had never had Thai food.

So this morning I contacted her and asked her to join me for lunch at that Thai restaurant. She happily obliged. I must admit...it was really yummy! I enjoyed the infusion of sweet fruits into the spicy food - mango in the salad wrap with red chili sauce and pineapple in the main dish paired with onions and veggies. We chatted, laughed, snapped pics and enjoyed a wonderful lunch together. We ended up hanging out for quite some time after that as well.

She stays current with my blog which is very encouraging to me and I am so happy to include her in today’s edition. Cheers to living with intention and trying new things!
#thinkingofyouHeather
#embracingeverymoment

Day 17 - Finding the beauty

Our area was hit with a blizzard in the last couple of days. Although, many years ago we lived in Massachusetts for a year – I am still a “newbie” with this winter snow situation. NC got snow a couple of times while I lived there but nothing like this. I think the snow is so beautiful. In fact, although I do love the summers here, I am truly quite fond of the winter and may favor it just a bit more. I love seeing the seasons come full circle. Being that I spent most of my life in Arizona, seasons were just not something I got to see very often. I also love the view from my home of the contrasting bright snow topped roofs and the movement of the dark blue ocean.

With that being said, the part of the snow that isn’t too fun and not always beautiful is the “digging out” afterwards. So, for my intention today I decided after my workout and Italian lesson to hit the streets to find the beauty in this town even during the ugly cleanup.

Let me tell you, beauty was not hard to find. And what was truly quite unexpected and awesome was the attitude of the people. They seemed friendlier today than all my days so far. They were not just nodding and saying hello. They were stopping for conversations! People here and there were standing around, laughing and talking. Some were chatting about and taking pictures of the scenic beauty just as I was. As I passed by a person on the sidewalk he said “We should have blizzards more often, this is beautiful!” (I totally laughed at that one). I took part in multiple conversations and was out and about a lot longer than I originally anticipated.

Throughout this entire blizzard experience, I have gained a real sense of community. Neighbors and local friends checking in to make sure everything is good. Not to mention the people at the grocery store smiling, kind and helpful.

I can truly say, I LOVE New England in the winter. And with this outing, I can add another checkmark to a great day’s intention. #HGAL365

This guy was awesome



Kids helping neighbors "Dig Out"



 

 

Day 16 - Crafting

Most kids (especially girls) love to craft in one way or another. Whether it’s in art class at school, coloring, painting or more advanced crafty hobbies- it’s safe to say most kids like some form of crafting. Well, I have always been very creative and love to craft. It’s actually a hobby turned business for me which is a true blessing.

Heather and I as children loved to play house, go outside and create “pies” out of flowers and plants, dress up, play with the multitude of dolls we both had and of course craft! We had those paper dolls that you could color and create fashion with (super popular back then), we created all types of beaded jewelry and so much more. We were never, ever short of imagination.

When I moved to Arizona, Heather made me a home-made medal that reads: #1 Cousin and Best friend Sarah Ann Harnden. I cherished that medal so much. As a kid, it was proudly displayed in my room at all times! As I got older obviously, I tucked it safely away with all the letters and pictures she sent me growing up. So obviously, as I’ve rummaged through my keep sakes from Heather to inspire some of my daily intentions- I knew this one would surely come up.

Today, as I was working on some furniture pieces for a customer, I thought of a good way to incorporate this crafty medal into today’s intention. I pulled together some raw wood pieces that I picked up recently from Michael’s and a piece of scrapbook paper. After some staining, painting, waxing and Mod Podging…voila! I crafted a shabby chic boxed frame to house my medal and a picture of me and Heather.  

Heather named me her #1 Cousin and Best Friend and the fact is…she knew she was always mine too! Here’s to a crafty days’ intention.

 

Day 15 - My Pink Guitar

I was going through some more pictures today. I came across one of Heather playing her flute in a parade when she was a kid. We had already moved to Arizona, but she sent me these pictures with one of the many letters and pictures we exchanged. I had played the cello for a year when I was in 5^th grade but obviously couldn’t be in a parade with it. I was so proud of her when I saw this and wished so bad that I could have been there to see her performance in person.  But like so many other accomplishments in the history of our lives, distance could not stop us from celebrating each other’s achievements.

Fast forward…about 4 years ago, my mother and I walked into a music store while running errands with the kids to pick up some supplies for my middle son (he plays the guitar). While we were there, I noticed the prettiest pink guitar. I made a comment that if I had a guitar that pretty, I would HAVE to learn to play it. Sure enough, just a short time after that, my mom surprised me with that very guitar, a case, pink picks and an instruction book. For a while, I attempted to learn to play. I had a hard time with how bad it hurt the tips of my fingers - so slowly it became a cute little adornment in our home. Friends and family would strum it from time to time but nothing notable.

Then when we moved here- it never seemed to make its way out of the case. It was put away and yesterday my husband and I were looking for something and I came across it. I pulled it out of the case and it made me smile. It is so beautiful. When I came across the picture today of Heather playing her musical instrument, I knew exactly what I’d do for my intention.

So, I had my youngest son (who plays a stringed instrument as well) help me tune it. I decided, today is the day. After my Italian lesson, I picked it up and played for a bit. Gave my little fingers a rest and after dinner, picked it back up. I went along with some lessons on YouTube. My husband got a kick out of watching me strum away and happily agreed to snap some pics to share on this blog.

Today’s intention is a musical nod to my cousin and the chance to pick back up a hobby left behind.

Day 14 - Game Time

Time is a funny thing. I used to hear my parents say things like “It seems like just yesterday when…” or “When I was a kid….” It’s funny because although I do not consider myself “old” in any way, I hear myself saying the same things. I say to my kids, “I remember so vividly when you were a little boy”…. Or I say things like, “Treasure every minute cause you’re gonna blink and be in your 20’s, blink again, 30’s" and so on. Sure enough, today in fact is my oldest son’s birthday and he is 22 years old. He literally said to me just today “Wow mom, I can’t believe I’m already 22”!

My oldest 2 children are living on their own already and I couldn’t be more proud of the independence and success they are already experiencing as grown up young men.  Only my 15 year old remains home and as a teenager he obviously has his own level of independence and freedoms. I can’t believe that before I know it, he too will be out of our home and living as a man.

I was always a very active, involved mother. I would be right there riding bikes with my boys, skating around, playing sports, swimming or whatnot. I have always been a very “crafty” person and would have them help me out with fun projects at home that involved painting, coloring, gluing etc. We also loved to play lots of card and board games. Heather was involved in so much of my children's lives, especially when they were younger. (Fun fact: She cut the cord when my middle son was born)

Today, for my intention, I am going to honor those beloved days of our past. I brought out a board game and asked my youngest to participate in my “Intention for Heather”. He happily obliged. And what started out as one game of Sorry, became 3 games and a very fun addition to our Sunday. My lesson of the day is to honor each day and the loved ones around us. Spend time together as often as possible even if it’s to do something as silly as a board game together because time never stops for anyone. You never want to find yourself looking back thinking “I wish I would have just spent more time with….” as I so often think about the times when Heather and I were older.  

 

Day 13 - Happy Notes

The older I get, the more I have come to realize that you can never judge a book by its cover. I’ve come to understand that some of the happiest people are some of the loneliest people. Some of the “coolest” people are really the most insecure. And yes, even some of the cranky/crusty people can end up being the nicest. What I have also come to realize is that EVERY SINGLE PERSON in this world is dealing with something they would rather not deal with at some point in their life. Poor health, money woes, weight struggles, relationship issues, death of a loved one, etc. etc.  I have always been the kind of person to offer a “hello” or head nod, a smile or a wave even though I don’t always have these actions reciprocated which can be tough but I try to remind myself that I don’t know what that person has going on and it still feels good for me to be the way I am.

For today’s intention, I have decided  to find a cute little way to spread some joy and hopefully just when someone needs it – they will be touched. I picked up some baby blue sticky notes from the dollar store. Then, Vinny and I went to our local Barnes & Noble. We sat down at the Starbucks located inside the bookstore and I proceeded to write out what I’d like to call, “Notes of Love”. Just quick little notes that I would place inside random books.

My intention is that while someone is busy reading their new book, they will turn the page and stumble upon a note I wrote advising them that: "You have a wonderful smile and should use it more often” or "You are a valuable person" or that “You are truly special to someone” and it will truly brighten their day. Being that I am an avid reader and love to sit in bookstores for what can end up hours, I would personally love to find a note like that in a book I've chosen. Who knows, maybe someone going through the loss of a loved one will find a note I've left, maybe even find themselves smiling for a moment, never being the wiser that the note was put there from someone that is grieving as well.

I miss you Heather.

 

 

Day 12 - Playground

Heather’s family have been in the same home since her parents were first married (her parents are still there). Behind that house and maybe a block or so away was a playground. Every time there was a gathering at her house, all the kids would at some point end up at this playground, spinning each other on the merry-go-round, swinging (and jumping off) the swings, running around catching lightning bugs, playing tag or hide-and-go-seek. It was such a different time back then when there was not an option of video games, internet and TVs in every room of the house.

Anyhow, right down the street from my house now, there is a really nice park that I pass whenever I walk to the market. Today as I passed it, I realized why I love that park so much. It looks exactly like the park that was by Heather’s house. I’ve noticed in recent years that most parks have removed the teeter-totters and merry-go-rounds probably due to injury or whatnot. But this park has all the “originals” and definitely tugs on my heart strings every time I pass it.

So, today I decided to turn around and go back to it. The closer I got, the clearer to me it became as to what my day’s intention would be: to swing on the swings. As I approached the swings, I tried to remember the last time I was even on a swing. Honestly, I think it was when my kids were little and I used to put them on my lap and swing with them. I found myself also remembering when Heather and I were little and used to jump off the swings and mark the spot we landed to have a contest as to who could jump farther. Wow, that’s nuts. I literally can picture us as kids so vividly right now.

As I was swinging back and forth, back and forth, while holding onto the attached chains- I let my arms fully extend and let my head ease all the way back. While I was swaying, I could see the sky and the ground behind me. I remember doing this as a kid too. My head hung so far back I almost felt upside down. I remember we used to flip backwards off while still holding the side chains (I would NOT be attempting that one! LOL). 

I honestly believe in my heart, that under any other circumstances I would have kept walking right past the park today. I would have admired it briefly, but never have considered actually getting on the swings. I would have reasoned to myself that I’m grown and have no business playing at a park or that it’s too cold or whatever. But just for today and just for those 10-15 minutes, I let my hair down (literally) and played on the swings. #noregrets #lifeisgood

 

 

Day 11 - Winter Baking

I woke up to an absolutely beautiful scene outside my window. There was a light dusting of snow all along the trees and rooftops of my small, quaint town. The sun was just barely beginning to peak and the buildings in the distance had an orange and pink glow to them. However, it was a very cold outside. I had nothing so important that I had to leave the comfort of my own home today….so I didn’t. I did my housework, workout and completed a project I needed to finish right here from my home.

With the rest of my day ahead of me, I pondered what I could do for my day’s intention. My eyes slowly surveyed my home, waiting for an idea to hit. And sure enough, I noticed my beautiful vintage cake container that I recently picked up from a local antique shop.

When I bought this container I told myself that the next gathering/party we went to I would bake something awesome and bring it in this container. But, I’ve decided actually, for today’s intention I am going to bake some desserts and use this lovely vintage find. So, I spent the next while baking away. I love baking on days like this. The heat from my oven, the sound of the beaters, the sweet aroma wafting through the air as my decadent treats take form….ahhhhh.

Once my Caramel Turtle Brownies and my family’s favorite, White Chocolate and Cherry cookies were made, I set the cookies in my cake container and the brownies on one of my other favorite dessert displays. As I set them on the table, I took a couple of the pictures I have displayed in my home of Heather and I and bring them onto the table to perfectly complete an amazing day’s intention.

Morning view....picture perfect



Vintage Cake Container

Final setup with brownies, cookies and pics

 

 

Day 10 - Italian

One day I’m going to….

This is just a fancy way of saying "I wish but probably never will". “One day” can be a dangerous part of any phrase. I have been saying for far too many years that one day I am going to Europe. I want to see Italy and Germany especially. It seems like every time I get close to taking a European vacation, something derails my plans. Over the years we’ve instead opted for Cabo, Mazatlan and other Mexican destinations, Jamaica, Atlantis, the Cayman Islands and other Caribbean destinations. I’ve also been all around the United States for the exception of maybe 3-4 states. These vacations have been amazing and I’m truly grateful but I wish now, looking back, that I would have held out for my dream.

I’ve realized that if I don’t align my life to lead directly to my dreams and goals then I may never attain them. My “one day” may never come and it will eventually be too late. So, with that in mind, today my intention is to begin to align my life and prepare for my European destination. First stop, Italy! So, I pulled out all of my “Learn to Speak Italian” books and CD’s and just went for it! I completed the first unit of the first CD and corresponding book lesson. I have put a reminder in my phone that Monday, Wednesday and Friday mornings are my Italian lesson days from here on. My future endeavor will be so much more enjoyable being at least semi-fluent in the local dialect.

I’m not sure if Heather got to do all of the travels her heart desired. I have always had a strong desire to be in Europe and choose to take a road leading me there while I still have the chance. This was a very busy day for me. However, I am once again feeling rewarded with the time I carved out of my day to complete my intention and am truly blessed with the impact this blog is having on my life.

 

Day 9 - Bubbles

It is my intention while writing this blog to try my hardest to keep things as light as possible. I want this to be a very positive experience, not a year of emotional turmoil. I will allow myself to continue to heal and grieve as memories arise but I’d like this experience to celebrate and honor Heather’s life more than spend my time during my day’s intention, sad or unhappy. Our time together was always happy, laughing and being silly together (even through the tough times). Thus, I’d like this journey to reflect that nature of who Heather and I were together. To me, that is the real way to keep her memory thriving and keep who she was to me very much alive.

That being said, although I have already had some fun times during this blog, I have found that I am experiencing times in my day when I find myself dazing off for a moment, thinking of her and feeling sad. I don’t have a problem acknowledging those feelings cause I have pushed them away so many times before but I will not embrace the sadness, I cannot. I’ve allowed myself some tears (which is never easy for me) but I will not allow myself to be dragged into an abyss.

Therefore, for today’s intention, I am taking it super light. I picked up some bubbles and although it’s only 36 degrees out, I am going on my deck and blowing some bubbles. The sun was out, the wind gently breezing by, the water is a deep blue/grey color and a little choppy and there are some clouds out but only enough to make a beautiful setting. It was not too cold to be out there for a bit. As I blew my bubbles, the wind tossed them here and there. I noticed people on the street looking up as they walked by to see the bubbles coming from my deck. Good! Maybe I brightened someone’s day for a moment. Who doesn’t love bubbles?

I didn’t stay out there too long. I came in and made a cup of tea and here I sit typing away. Even while I’m typing I’m smiling thinking of the bubbles. Yea….this was a great intention today. Keeping it light ~ while still keeping it real. Love you Heather!

Here I go....

Day 8 - Frozen

Heather came to live with me in Arizona when I was pregnant with my second son. My oldest was about 3 years old at that time and loved Disney movies (and Barney too of course). We didn’t have multiple TV’s in our house at that time so when we were all home, a lot of the times we would have Disney movies playing for him and we would sit there while he was watching them and watch some and chat a bit. Obviously, when you watch or hear Disney movies time and time again being played you quickly learn the songs. So, we would find ourselves singing along with the music and even sometimes dancing around with him.

Shortly after my second son was born, we took a vacation to Disneyland. It was me and Heather, my kids, a few of my nieces and nephews, and my mother. We had such a great time. I had never been to Disney and although Heather had been to Disneyworld in Florida, she had never been to the one in California. We went to other places as well during that visit to California, but today I’m thinking of Disney. I am so glad I got to experience my first trip there with her at my side.

Heather was unable to see the Disney movie Frozen, as it was released in 2013. I’m sure she would have loved this movie. I can remember back to her and I singing away to the Lion King, Beauty and the Beast, etc. and can totally imagine her singing these lovable (Frozen) songs to her children (especially her daughter).

 So, today’s intention is to take a time out and enjoy this Disney sensation. As I watched, I sang along with the songs I knew and found myself smiling away watching Anna (she’s my favorite), Olaf, and Elsa. My 15 year old son even watched for a bit, had some laughs and enjoyed some of the movie (he didn’t stay long, but I’ll take it!).  

 This had started out a bit of a hectic day for me as I not only had plans with a friend that took me away from the house for a couple of hours, I also had furniture pieces that I have a deadline on as they are already sold and I had to complete them today. However, this was an enjoyable addition to my day in her memory and I am finding myself again blessed to be on this journey.

Heather and Micah

Heather & Olivia

Frozen

Day 7 - Phone Calls

So, today is Sunday. I love Sundays. They always have a slow paced start and a relaxing feel to them. My husband and I usually sleep in a bit (which for us usually doesn’t go past about 8:00am). After church, we usually just return home for a restful day of food, sports and whatnots.

In this day of mass technology, social media, texting, etc. it’s common to take the easy (and quick) way out in regards to communication. I recently was in a conversation with a family member about how much we dislike this “disconnected” way of life. Typing our words removes the emotion in a conversation which not only allows for misunderstandings but I feel it limits the fluidity of human interaction.

So, for today’s intention I have decided to contact each person of my family with an actual phone call. When it comes to my children (the ones that are grown and don’t live here anymore), I make sure to talk on the phone way more than texts, etc. I talk on the phone to my sister and mother quite often as well but surely not enough to my brothers and father. I often allow a quick text or a comment on social media sites to keep us united.

Today, I called my mother, father, sister and both brothers. I found myself having a wide variety of conversations with everyone. There was “catching up”, laughing and joking and I thoroughly enjoyed hearing their voices. Unfortunately, although I left a voice mail I did not hear back from one of my brothers by the time I wrote this blog. Hopefully he will call me tonight but if not I will try him again tomorrow.

I don’t know when the world made the official switch to social media or texts as opposed to real life talking, but this girl for one is going to make a point to go back to phone calls more often than not from here on out. As long as I have breath to breathe in these lungs, I choose to take every moment I can to connect on a deeper level with my family members and friends. I choose to be more present in the lives of my nieces and nephews also and intend to call them all this week as well.  

I wish I would have called Heather every single day when I had the chance. I will not allow that to happen again. #lessonlearned

Day 6 - The Cactus

Yesterday’s blog really got me thinking a lot about the first time Heather came to Arizona. She absolutely loved it! During that visit, as well as others and when she lived with me years later, I took her to just about every tourist attraction I could think of locally, in surrounding cities, California and even Vegas. We went to the Grand Canyon, Tucson, Sedona, Flagstaff, Disney, and so much more.

I will be sharing many memories, pictures and stories over the next year, many of which I’m sure will come from many of those outings. But for today, my intention is to bring a little of Arizona (and my fondest memories of Heather and I from those days) into my home. So, my husband and I went to Home Depot and the search began for a plant, tree or flower. What should have probably taken me only moments, took me a half an hour. Bless Vinny (my husband) and his tireless support. He was trying to help me decide….Do I want a cactus? A palm? A succulent? Where would I put it? What would I plant it in? I just wanted every single detail of today’s intention to be perfect.

 

I decided on a cactus. The cactus I choose has such a simple elegance to it. Its representation of Arizona is perfect. And for being just a single cactus it is sunny, cheerful, bright and beautiful. It reminds me of the time we went to Tucson with my dad and our Grandma to see the "cactus in bloom". She had no idea cactus could bloom such beautiful and fragrant flowers.

Meanwhile, I finally decided that I would personally paint and decorate a simple Terra Cota pot to perfectly suit this very special cactus.

I am including in today’s post, pictures from our day in Tucson (I was behind the camera). I am also including pictures from South Mountain in Phoenix, the Hoover Damn, one of our visits to Sedona (we went there a number of times) and an awesome shot of Heather and both Heather and I at the Grand Canyon only 6 weeks after I had my second son. So many pictures, so many memories, such a beautiful plant, such a beautiful day.

 

Sedona



Hoover Damn

Grand Canyon

South Mountain

Tucson seeing the "Cactus in bloom"